Money Hungry

I'm in a position that I've always wanted to avoid... and that is getting caught up with financial issues.

I never pictured myself this money hungry in my life. I'm in such a desperate position right now that I would LOVE to drown myself with hours of work. Some people know that I have more than one job, but they're all unstable jobs. I work as an instructor at Kumon Learning Center as well as a private tutor on the side with a couple of kids. Before, my main source of money was from one of the kids that I private tutor... well, slash babysitter. He was facing some issues with family as well as his work, so I was layed off for the summer. I was hoping he'd give me back my hours in the middle of summer, but he was lagging... until this very day. I was also stupid for believing him and should have just applied for another job, but he still tells me that he still wants me to be his kid's tutor... but we will see. I'm going to apply for another job anyway.

Even with having more than one job, it's still not enough.

You probably think I'm crazy for taking in another job and wonder how I'm going to handle this while I'm in school... but I'm up for it and become a work-a-holic. I'm ninja like that.

So, I'm applying everywhere at the mall. Retail is something different for me, so I'm quite excited. Some of the stores I've applied includes: H&M (crossing my fingers for this), Express (the manager was rude, turn off) , Bebe, Zara, Forever21, Guess, and even Skechers (hookups). Whichever takes me first, I'll take it.

I don't know if this is healthy.. to be money hungry. I've become like this because of the expenses I have to pay. It's eating my savings up... and it hurts seeing my account, all that money I've been saving for future plans is going down so fast. The next thing you know... *SNAP!* just like that, it's all gone. That's the LAST thing I would want to happen. I really want to be independent with my money and don't have to depend on my parents. My parents have their own issues to take care of. Plus, I hate asking for money. I'm letting this whole thing consume me.

If it weren't for my unstable jobs... I would have been okay, but things happen.

I'm hangin' in there, believing that God will provide. I'm gonna hold on tight to that right now.
Matthews 6:24-34.

Little Rascals

So, my parents went on a two week vacation to Europe leaving the kids behind to my older brothers and I. They are a handful.

My little brothers are still both so very young. Christian is 8 years old and Andy is 5. Christian is a bit easier to take care of because he's older. Not only that, he's also very responsible and is able to take care of himself. On the other hand, Andy is the complete opposite. This kid does not listen whatsoever and loves to talk back and act tough. He touches everything, never asks permission, and just grabs things from people. It's frustrating because he just does whatever he feels like doing. At times, it just comes off rude towards others. So obviously, he gets into trouble a lot. Even after being punished or spanked, he just laughs hysterically... strange kid.

Anyway, so we are pretty much left with the responsibilities of taking them to school, feeding them, doing their homework (which they actually do on their own), watching over them, and etc.

Feeding them is probably the most stressful. They are the pickiest eaters that I know in my life. They don't eat "real food", but junk food. Sometimes I wonder how they're surviving because the foods they eat are so unhealthy and they're just not getting enough nutrients than they're suppose to at their age. Sometimes, they eat cereal for dinner and cookies... seriously? Ever since our parents left, they fell under our rules. They are forced to eat "real food" no matter what. Even if he have to bribe them or even force food into their mouths, they HAVE to consume some kind of meat or full meal before they leave the table or they don't get to play games or do anything else on their free time. It's just ridiculous.

Let me tell you a story...

Andy is a game addict. Plays Nintendo DS or Wii all day, literally, that he even forgets to eat. My Dad always takes it away during weekdays and gives it during weekends. We use the same rules while they're gone. Sunday night, Andy knows that his DS is gonna get taken away since there's school the next day. He ran upstairs and hid it somewhere at his "secret spot". I went upstairs to take it away, took 10 seconds to look for it but realized I will never find it. Andy was laughing and hopping around because I couldn't find it. He was all excited and jumped his way to the other room ridiculing the fact that I will never find his "secret spot". I thought about it and tried to pull something off. I decided to pretend that I found it... "YES! I FOUND YOUR DS! HA HA" and Andy got upset and says "NO YOU DIDN'T!" and I said "YESSSSSS I DID!" and pretended that I hid it under my shirt or something to make it a bit more believable for him. He still insisted that I didn't find it. Since he didn't believe me, he wanted to make sure that I didn't really have the DS and goes to his "secret spot" to check if it's still there. After he looked, he got all excited again because it was still there. Obviously, I now know where it is and took it from him. Oh man, it was so hilarious! He was furious and got angry that I found his secret spot and that it wasn't fair. Well, too bad sucka :) . What a silly kid.

Last night, Andy really pulled some strings. Apparently, he messed up the rooms on purpose because the parents aren't home and he can do "anything he wants"... which I heard in the mornings, but didn't pay much attention to it because I didn't think he was going to do something crazy like that. I was trying to make him clean the mess that he made upstairs, because it was pretty bad. Obviously, he refused to and then he started to do his usual growling at you, throwing things around, screaming back at you, attempting to hit you, and all that really got to my nerves. I've been patient with him this whole week and he still keeps it up. He got some serious punishment (which he still laughed off by the way even though it may have hurt him) and I got really serious this time because he was just beyond bad. My tone of voice felt more demonic and gave him the death stare... lectured him a bit, explaining why I'm really angry and how he's been acting. Told him how seriously angry I was... and all he did was grill back at me, haha... but he calmed down with his talking back and such. I was about to pull all the hair out of that boy, he's so hard-headed!

If they were my kids... uh-uh, I'll make sure to put them in their place.

But I sure still love them anyway! It is truly stressful being a parent... it is so difficult. Now, I understand the stress my Dad goes through ever single day with these little devils -_-"... but I was probably just like them too when I was younger.



Oh well, who can hate these little rascals anyway?

Fresh

I had this sudden urge to start up a blog again... though I still update my Xanga once in a while, but I feel that has gotten more personal every time I write in it... more personal thoughts and feelings I mean.